


long enough to fake a smile

by komhmagnus



Series: inspired by 3b [6]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Bad Cooking, Breakfast, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Magic, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Protective Alec Lightwood, Spoilers, based on the 3x15 promo, izzy and alec were doomed from the start, no one in the institute can cook
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-19
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-11-24 08:42:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18163145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/komhmagnus/pseuds/komhmagnus
Summary: He’s never felt like this in the Institute before, so out of place. Even before he and Alec were together, he’d never been afraid of what the Shadowhunters thought of him. But now their gazes feel different, like he’s a stranger invading their home. A foreigner.





	long enough to fake a smile

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from Cry For Me by HUNNY
> 
> my brain wouldn't shut up after watching that episode and also the promo for next week so here I am again

“Did your sister make these pancakes?” Magnus mutters under his breath. He’s not as sly as he thinks, though, and Izzy glares across the table. “Or you?” he adds, directing a disdainful gaze that’s only halfway joking at Alec.

“Be nice,” Alec grumbles, nudging him in the shoulder. “The Institute isn’t exactly a five-star restaurant.”

“I see that,” Magnus says, holding up one of the stiff pancakes to examine it. The bacon is the only thing on the table that looks even remotely appetizing, though he’s suspicious of even that. “I guess I know where you and Isabelle got your cooking skills.”

Jace laughs across the table, the sound loud among the quiet severity of the other Shadowhunters in the cafeteria. “None of us stood a chance.”

“You get used to it,” Clary says next to him, her smile small and reassuring.

Magnus looks around the table again, at the less than ideal spread before them. “Is there even any fruit? Something tells me that’s the only safe thing to eat around here.”

“I think there are some apples in the kitchen, if you want some,” Alec says. “I can get them.”

“No,” Magnus says quickly before Alec can stand. “Don’t worry about it, I’m sure there’s something edible on this table.” He’s never felt like this in the Institute before, so out of place. Even before he and Alec were together, he’d never been afraid of what the Shadowhunters thought of him. But now their gazes feel different, like he’s a stranger invading their home. A foreigner.

In a way, he is. He doubts any warlocks have willingly lived in an Institute, at least not since Tessa.

But he also knows that it isn’t the Shadowhunters, even if some of them have been staring all morning like he’s on display at a zoo. He knows most of the Shadowhunters have accepted his place at the Institute by now, his place in their leader’s life.

No, it isn’t the Shadowhunters that are making him feel so out of place, out of his own skin. It’s the Institute. It’s the yellow magic and whatever it’s doing to him. It’s  _ him _ . 

“Besides,” he says, before Alec or any of their friends realize something is wrong. “I can simply do this now.” He waves his hand and in a flash of yellow that he can almost pretend is gold, a plate of fresh waffles and fruit appears in front of him with a flute of orange juice where his sad stack of pancakes had been a moment before.

Alec tsks, the sound teasingly judgemental but also apprehensive. Magnus knows Alec doesn’t trust Lorenzo’s gift-- _ or Lorenzo _ \--and for good reason, but he hopes Alec at least can understand why he had to do this. Something in Alec’s gaze had broken the night before when Magnus told him how empty he felt, how insignificant, without his magic.

Magnus doesn’t focus on it long, though, his ears suddenly ringing and his head pounding. He turns away slightly so the others won’t notice.  _ It’s just a headache _ , he thinks, he hopes.  _ I didn’t sleep well last night, that’s all _ .

He blinks, hard, and the ache subsides. He takes a bite of his waffle, turning to Alec with a smile.

Alec stares at him and it’s everything Magnus can do not to squirm under the weight of the gaze, the concern. “Your cat eyes are back,” Alec whispers.

Magnus’s hand goes to his eye instantly. “Oh,” he says, blinking and quickly putting up his glamour. “I suppose that’s the one thing I got used to with not having my magic,” Magnus says. It’s only a half-lie. He  _ did _ get used to it. It’d been one of the few things that had given him solace whenever he felt truly lost or vulnerable. But he also knows he put up his glamour as soon as he got out of bed that morning, knows that it fell only seconds ago with the headache that had lasted only a few seconds.

Alec seems to accept his answer, his gaze softening into a smile. “You were right, by the way.”

“About what?” Magnus asks, eyebrow raised.

Alec leans closer, his words soft and breath warm against Magnus’s ear. “I did miss them.”

Everything is about to go to hell, Magnus knows. Maybe even literally. But for now, his smile is brighter than any shade of magic, and that’s enough for him.

“I did, too, Alexander. More than I ever thought I would.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments and kudos are appreciated 💖  
> Find me on Tumblr and Twitter @banesapothecary!


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